Saturday, 12 May 2012

Anhedonia advice

The internet, I think, is a good cure for anhedonia. Well, not exactly a cure but, something that takes your mind off of it at least. Searching for things is so remarkably 'light' on my brain that it doesn't cause me any suffering, while reading books and other things inevitably does. But that's something I haven't mentioned to you before; I discovered the Secret of Anhedonia. You cannot sit and contemplate your navel. You will get bored. And boredom with anhedonia is a horrifying experience where your stomach bursts open and spills acid onto the lower organs of your body. Or well, something like that. It hurts a lot, for reasons unknown to me. I guess it could be because even though you try and try your hardest not to think about the anhedonia, it doesn't work, and the horrible understanding of your confinement to this outrageous reality combined with your current boredom and hunger for pleasure makes you go loco, to say the least.

The SECRET to ANHEDONIA is essentially, I think, to just keep doing things, even if you get no pleasure from them, which you obviously won't, to keep your mind off the nature of your particular disease - that is to say, anhedonia. As long as you are distracted, and as long as the distraction isn't particularly painful, you should survive to live another day. I'm not sure if other people have discovered this or not, but it definitely does work for me (fingers crossed). Also, this is particular to me: my memories are not affected by anhedonia. I can remember something I watched when anhedonic and feel emotion over that thing. Not sure if this occurs with others, though.

My posts, by the way, can no longer be as long as they used to be, be-long-ing now to a different era (one in which I actually had motivation and drive and such). Sorry about that.

4 comments:

  1. This is what I try to do as well. If I don't do a few easy things I'm in trouble. Gracias.

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  2. I'm not sure the internet is a good "cure". There's something painful about it. About frantically searchng for answers and things. About making friends online. Surely it would make more sense to interact in real life.

    Plus have you noticed that, if you stay too long at the computer, your face skin becomes flushed and sore and your head and eyes ache?

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    Replies
    1. It depends on who you are I suppose. For someone like me, who is on the computer almost constantly in his free time, I don't even get headaches or eye strain anymore. The ol' autism probably makes it a lot easier for me to stay this way compared to other people, who probably need more face-to-face contact.

      Interacting in real life tends to just depress me, because I can see all my friends having fun etc. while I am stuck faking every single god damn emotion because I am hopelessly (depersonalised and) anhedonic.

      I guess then I can assume it's better for people not in my situation to go out and be with other people? I can't really tell, so need some clarification on this.

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  3. Yes, nothing worse than sitting around contemplating one's own emptiness and lack of passion for life. Even something as simple as going for a walk is better than that. As Doctor Johnson said 'When solitary be not idle, when idle be not solitary'.

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