Quick! You are suffering from terrible mental anguish and can't see any escape! What do you do?
(a Distract yourself with entertainment
What can I do?
(a General anhedonia not only means that this is useless and an exercise that simply reminds me of how horrible things are, but also means distracting myself is something that makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
(b I have the full set of 'anhedonia's now: first I had Social anhedonia, now I have General anhedonia as well, and quite recently I acquired Sexual anhedonia.
(c I wrote an entire page detailing how a general day of my life goes recently. I was somewhat proud of it (the intellectual knowing, not the emotion, which I can't feel), but other than that it did absolutely nothing. Writing on my blog is a little different however, since I still get 'tingles' when I do it, but I'm limited to one post a day (self-imposed limit, but whatever).
(d I had quite a bit of fun about a month ago sticking my fingernails into my gums to make them bleed (this is really messed up - I am fully aware of this). Now however, any form of self-harm just makes me feel physically in pain, and then empty and annoyed that nothing is working.
(e Sleep! Glorious sleep! This is, I think, the ultimate time waster. You can distract yourself all you want, and you can have as much fun as you like, but nothing makes the time go by as quickly as lying down and invading the land of Nod. This is one of the only good things about my medication - it makes me able to sleep basically at any moment I want to (and almost makes me sleep at other times when I don't want to). Another positive of sleep is that I can actually feel emotions in dreams. Not just the mental pain I normally feel, but weird emotions I didn't even know I had, like embarrassment. Crazy, right?
I plan to write, hopefully, a little more on sleep, especially since people seem to be searching my blog for it a lot, in the future. For now, with time restraints and how-much-I-can-be-bothered restraints, I can't really step up the prose or the content, so I'll make this a sort of little preliminary lead-up post to any post on sleep I do next.
*I don't recommend this for anyone by the way. The reward isn't worth the damage it does most of the time - it's only really worth doing if you don't care what other people think, don't care about being in physical pain all the time, and don't care about having the be taken to a mental ward. Which is a lot to not care about. I've only really done it in times of extreme pain - like where I'd otherwise scream from it.