Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Suicidal thoughts aren't one-size fits all

There are two main types of suicidal thought as far as I understand things. One type, that is generally thought to be the only type, is a simple urge, or fantasy, often plaguing, of death. The second type is not so much a thought, as a resolution. From my perspective it is a lot colder than the sometimes painful, sometimes relieving standard suicidal thought, and comes, not directly as a consequence of depression as we are told to believe, but from years of subconsciously and consciously assessing one's situation, and finding that one, valuing happiness and not valuing suffering (and HOPEFULLY following my advice and weighing up our own suffering with our parents' suffering - for more detail though, click on 'the right to die' tag).

The only people that believe that this 'Suicidal Resolution' (as I've named it for now) is actually possible are those who are in support of Euthanasia - and even then, rarely do THEY believe that someone who is mentally ill can come to such a conclusion (that death would be a better situation to be in than life). But they can, easily, as though their brains may be to some degree disordered, this in no way prevents them being treated as full human beings. Though maybe that is a bit harsh. The current opinions going round our collective memesphere are not indeed so horrible, but you cannot get past the fact that they at least advocate the decreasing of the age of the mentally ill, permanently. What I mean by this, is that in the Mental Health game, people treat the mentally ill like Peter Pan - eternal children. Or is this not what is implied by the fact that they are not trusted with the most fundamental decision of all: whether to live or die?

I'm not saying, again, that people shouldn't be made to wait years before they are allowed access to Euthanasia. But here's the thing: that should apply to anyone. ANYONE could have the urge to kill themself, and anyone could ask for euthanasia. Enough pain, whether mental or physical will have anyone looking for an escape. What should be done in any case is simply barring the use of Euthanasia until a time period has passed (maybe shorter with severe pain, longer with depression due to the need to assess one's life more thoroughly). Outright rejecting euthanasia for the mentally ill, as some people suggest (but thankfully Dignitas does not enforce) is humiliating to those involved and completely trivialises the very real pain (in some cases greater than physical pain) that those who are mentally ill suffer.

 People have a really hard time mentally parsing how much pain is actually involved, I think. When I tell people, for example, that I don't remember having a good day since I was around 7 years old, I don't remember having an OK day (that wasn't due to hypomania) since I was 11 years old, people either laugh or simply say 'Really?'. Though I hang around with a lot of rather empathy-lacking people, the fact that they draw a mental block when imagining this is something which I expect contributes to a lot of the slurs against the mentally ill (AND YES EQUATING THEM TO CHILDREN MENTALLY IS AN INSULT), since people who are normal ("Neurotypical") don't suffer enough generally to understand what it is like to feel bad every single day. They know what maybe breaking a leg is like, and can imagine pain for a significant period of time (even then I doubt most Relief Deniers who are against Euthanasia can envisage even this), but cannot imagine something like sadness for any period of time, simply because they haven't ever been to the point of wanting to commit suicide from it (I THINK, again).

If I feel like it, I might go into WHY exactly people who state that the second kind of suicidal thought does not exist, or why people in general do not think suicide is an act that can be carried out rationally in my next post or in a later post. Don't count on my depressed broken brain, though. Remember, I have the responsibility level of a child.

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