Upon reading this amazing article http://www.science20.com/alpha_meme/suicide_life_ends_six_meters_above_ground-78133, my priorities have really been mashed and swapped and generally tossed about. My initial reaction was quite simply elation - though after that in the post-"I can escape" haze, I realised something that I hadn't quite realised before: there are still things I want to do in this world. One of those things, the capture and acquisition of Japanese, is easily going to delay me about 5 years or so. AT LEAST. But, back on topic here, this whole experience has essentially resulted in me planning to create an autobiography, a bucket list (or a 'Fuck-it' list, as in, 'Fuck it, I'm going to die soon'), and to finish those quests I've been undertaking since my childhood - I want to become educated, I want to have sex, and I want to experience those things said to be the greatest among escapist outlets. After I've finished taking what I can from the world, I'll finally bolt away, as a thief, before the world can take anything more from me.
Another thing I've been thinking about: on what chance can you risk your livelihood on, provided you are in the same kind of situation as I am? Only on 100% certainty of escape (natural death) or on something a lot lower, such as 50% chance of finding the exit (say, slitting your wrists). Personally, what with a fall providing me with perhaps a 95-98% chance, and with the added bonus of a lack of pain, owing to imperfections in my mental apparatus (though similar ones are most likely the reason for me undertaking this operation in any case), I would wager my life (or, more accurately, my death) on that. But I'm not taking this lightly. I really do think you have to take count of outcomes as well as risks. The outcome of death 0.95 x the amount of good it does me (-0.7 of a life to 0 for no life = +0.7 utility), gives 0.665, while the outcome of, let's say becoming paralysed, with very conservative estimates - saying it happens the other 5% of times, gives 0.05 x (-0.7 to -1.0 =) -0.3 = -0.015. So since the good outcome is significantly better comparatively, based on my rough, amateur estimation, I'd easily stake my mortality on that. But there are a lot of factors to consider. If my life were significantly better, for example, say it yielded me an average of -0.2 utility, then that simple change would completely turn my way of thinking about these things around (0.95 x 0.2 (0.19) compared with 0.05 x-0.8 (-0.04)). The choices would not be significantly different, and as a result, I could basically make NO decision, and would simply live my life regardless, since it would take least effort to do so.