Monday, 3 October 2011

Intelligence is wasted on me, rainbows, puppies, and other cheery things

I was going to start in here with some sort of rant about how intelligence is a curse and how people would be better off as chimps or wolves, and far better off as painless non-feeling amoebae, but as it turns out, I don't think there's any scientific data to back me up on that one. For all I know, people of greater than or equal to average intelligence may actually be happier than those that are below that mark - in fact I think I remember reading something that suggested that there is some kind of correlation like that. So I'm not going to go into how my specific 'the world must be like me' bias makes me assume that every person of any better-than-average neurological functioning is depressed and misanthropic. Rather, I'm going to talk about why I SPECIFICALLY think intelligence is something of a curse FOR ME. If I were at least at an IQ of <90 etc., I am sure that almost none of these circumstances would apply to me.

My brain has become such a little snob that most conversations tend to force me into that awkward state in between sleeping and living. Nothing stimulates me in conversation but things that only old people and mythical 'scholars' talk about. If I were not at my current level of intelligence, perhaps I wouldn't immediately start liking football, but at the same time, I wouldn't need such outsider interests to actually stay awake.

I don't mean to imply that anyone religious is an imbecile, I just mean that my brain has too many in-built defence mechanisms towards religion. These 'if God can cause itself why can't the universe's and 'How can a just God make a universe so horrible's really wreck every attempt at conversion I undergo, and in my opinion, stop me from experiencing any of the benefits of religion. Big Daddy who isn't your Daddy in heaven to love you, a large fanbase to mingle with and feel at home with, and a free ticket to imagining miraculous places without the inevitable 'that could never happen' and the subsequent depression.

Getting good grades in school has given me this ingrained, rather disgusting superiority complex. In every conversation, every day of the week, I am so acutely aware of the ways in which I have beaten such and such that I feel as if I am wasting my time. And what happens when the superiority complex is - goodness gracious me! - invalidated? I freak out, and feel this hot little well of hatred seething inside me. This would not happen if I had an IQ of 90. The outcome would be too hilarious for it to be possible.

Now you may say that if I were mildly retarded, then I might breed, so the large amount of bullshit I suffer is probably justified. But at an intelligence level where I would be legally recognised as disabled, however, I am quite certain that my sexual prospects would be just around nil. So bla bla bla bla I'm not dead, but don't have enough free time to write here, sorry.    


  1. Amen to the boredom and religion categories! I liked the 'only old men and scholars' line. I feel a certain empathy with the elderly, as being close to the end of the human farce, they generally are under no illusions whatsoever. And I'm coming to the view that one of the more palatable options in this life would be to become a scholar buried in dusty libraries, far away from the maddings crowds, a la Lovecraft's protagonist in the Silver Key stories.

    I watched this, and I was humbled. I've decided to take on harmless but extremely obnoxious ape behavior like chimp-like screaming and pumping my chest at work when someone pisses me off. Lifting heavy things. I definitely need to make my car horn a chimp sound.

    I have a history of unconventional behavior, so this is simply another step down into the mad house.

    It sure beats the unnatural behavior of sitting behind a desk and reading for hours on end so that one can "succeed" in this knowledge-based economy aka be more readily exploited.

  3. Great video fairykarma, thanks. And I agree with the behaviours we are forced into being wholly unnatural - probably due to our knowledge having vastly surpassed our ability to adapt to new selection pressures and evolve. Videos like this have gradually contributed to my ongoing 'don't give a crap' phase. Not that I ever really followed social norms that well anyway.
    As a side note, I'd like to say that I sometimes think that high functioning autistics and psychopaths will eventually out-compete their neurotypical brethren. Neurotypicals - normal people - do two things: socialising and work. They don't do either one very well. High Functioning Autistics on the other hand, are generally a lot better at manipulating knowledge, while Psychopaths are a lot better at manipulating people - which is all that socialising really is.

  4. As a HFA'er with several semi-autistic relatives, I don't believe autists will "outcompete" neuroptypicals, as the increased "prevalence" of diagnoses represents our increased disfunction in society: always having opinions of our own, being highly inflexible in the face of dynamic conditions, having a visceral aversion for herds, being unforgiving to deceit and owning a passive-aggressive temper, our 'kind' is unsuited for this society where norms trump even obvious truths, popularity is the measure of judgement, seasonal trends have replaced stable customs and impulsive action reaps more benefit than punishment; and I'm all for discontinuing our series (and put an end to our unsightly demise).
    Them psychopaths, on the other hand, already thrive on the first steps of this era where con artists become demigods and mass muderers and robber barons are legally protected by entire hemispheres. Oh, and they'll need neurotypicals to do the heavy lifting for quite a while still.

  5. Hmm I guess I am basing that on autistics generally scoring better on systemising (versus empathising), though I'm not sure myself whether this actually means anything with regards to the future, with technology and less-human based aspects of things coming to dominate (though as you can see, I would like to believe that it would give an advantage). I've had a couple of autistic friends in my time, and their general focus-blindness to anything but their specific topics of interest made me think they were far more suited to this current world and the next than to previous worlds, like the Bronze Age - since things are far more cold, hard information-based now than before. I guess I do like to romanticise HFAs a bit though, since I don't think I've ever had a non-online interesting conversation with a fellow non-autistic in my life, apart from with the elderly. So in summary: I don't hold a real opinion either way that my neurotypical extinction event will occur, but I like to entertain thoughts of it occurring, because that amuses me. Also: your prose is excellent, any chance you'll make a blog?

  6. Allow me to echo Estnihil's question, Bazompora. You're a great writer and you should definitely start your own blog.

  7. Boredom is for the lazy, religion for the weak, and if you freak out when you encounter a better mind than your own, your curse is not intelligence.

  8. Intelligent people get bored more easily, and thus seek out stimulation, sometimes in the form of mind altering drugs.

  9. >

    Yeah, that video wasn't too bad. Was a bit surprising (and depressing) to read that the author of that script is a breeder (as told here:
    QUOTE: "I’m raising a toddler now" :-/)